Rules To Live By
by WritelkeUmeanit
Summary: I learned a lot from watching Gilmore Girls.. what'd you learn?


**Rules To Live By: **

_**A/U- This isn't a story, but what I want everyone to do is read the rules, then if they think of any, post it in a review and I will keep adding to the list. **_

_My goal is to see how many rules we can get._

_These are some I got from a website and some I made up on my own, so let's see how much we can get : )_

**Everything I Need To Know About Life, I've Learned From The Gilmore's**

1) Life's short, talk fast

2) God is a woman

3) Not all girls want to be queen

4) Changing a dog's name slowly is the best way to do it

5) Putting wet sugar on your feet will get a dog to like you

6) Purple heads will not be denied

7) Never forget red vines when watching a movie

8) Salad is bad

9) When someone is mocking you, throw silverware at them

10) Never leave without saying goodbye

11) There is always time for a good rant

12) Don't ever lie to your boyfriend

13) Kissing a boy, then running away, will hurt his feelings

14) Don't break up with a girl becuase she isn't ready to say I love you

15) Always bring a meatball home from an anniversery dinner

16) Always have a lighter or matches on hand

17) Don't break up with someone in public

18) Don't sleep with a married man

19) Don't jump into a rose bush naked, even if you are dreaming

20) A pillow makes a good bomb (just ask Kirk)

21) Don't get engaged and not tell your mother

22) Don't fight with your mother over a guy who is so not worth it

23) The Bangles are like the best band ever

24) Bono is king, and stalker-y material

25) Don't wear the same thing twice to a fancy dinner

26) Never bark like a dog when you are trying to play like you aren't there

27) Never cover for your baby's daddy, let him suck it up and be a man

28) Always have a thousand yellow daises when you're ready to propose

29) Don't drop out of school because somebody said something hurtful

30) Never give someone an ultimatum

31) Monday's suck

32) It is possible for a hamster to be evil

33) Coffee is like oxygen

34) Alcohol can sometimes lead to pulling a coyote ugly

35) Almost anything can be dirty

36) The four food groups consist of fast food, junk food, frozen pizza and take out

37) Always carry a book, you never know when you'll need it

38) Oy with the poodles already!

39) God Lives in London

40) Coffee is essential for survival

41) Swans are vicious birds

42) Snow is magical

43) The difference between cows and humans is hay

44) Childbirth is like doing the splits on a crate of dynamite

45) The fish flies at night

46) If you walk with a Harry Potter book on your head and drop the book, Harry will die

47) If men can name their kids after themselves, why not women?

48) Never buy something just because it's furry

49) Backwards baseball caps and flannel never go out of style

50) Copper Boom!

51) t's much better to have a haunted leg than a cold

52) You can never have too many thanksgiving dinners

53) Booze is grown-up milk and cookies

54) A lap is an illusion

55) If you're frustrated with someone, try pushing him into a lake

56) When stuck in a hopeless situation, climb out the balcony window

57) The answer to problems in the Mid-East is poop

58) Dressing up in a cute little maid costume is as close as any self-respecting girl needs to get to cleaning up

59) Answer the pepperoni

60) Roomba vacuum and entertainment is one nifty package

61) Bad girls always wear red nail polish

62) Doing laundry is highly overrated

63) Blasting the Cure after having a bad day will do wonders

64) You can never have too many books

65) Reheated pizza sucks

66) Saturday is the day of pre-rest

67) Snow is more than frozen water falling from the sky

68) Yoga kills

69) Women at sixty-forty bars want one thing; their names on the will.

70) Never let your guy friend drive the car your boyfriend made for you

71) Why wear normal lipstick when you can wear flavored?

72) Some keys can talk

73) George Clooney beats any man

74) Never sit with a group of girls who enjoy talking about prom colors-it will always end badly

75) Termites are evil

76) Having a gym card is just as good as going to one (plus they come in handing when breaking into churches)

77) Always make sure your boyfriend has enough money to outbid your guy friend

78) Procrastination is a rule to live by

79) Never sleep with your ex

80) Cakes can never have too much chocolate

81) Mock those who like to run

82) Nice means bad butt

83) Every girl should have a dirty monkey lamp

84) Throwing your life away for a guy is only worth it if he has a motorcycle

85) Never ever go to lunch alone with the mother

86) Fancy's water got nothing on coffee

87) Butt crack baring jeans never go out of style

88) Make sure to invite bikers and low life's over when your parents are out of town

89) Dating your daughter's teacher is a no no

90) Having hot parents can suck sometimes

100) The bigger the pizza, the better

101) Never let your child-hating friend baby sit

102) Make sure your hubby got fixed before doing the dirty

103) Always bring ice

104) Wallowing is necessary after a break up

105) No running with scissors

106) Coffee keeps you peppy

107) Chocolate can solve anything

108) Doing cart wheels is a sure fire way to catch a guys attention

109) Don't date anyone your mother knows

110) Having a driver can come in handy sometimes

111) You can't mock the mocking

112) Talking baby talk to babies will prevent them from being fully tarted

113) Bandages can't fix broken windows

114) "Air pants," are tights for men

115) Always carry condoms, a mirror, and a can of bread crumbs in your purse

116) Cats pity the single

117) When in doubt, road trip!

118) Never volunteer to host a rummage sale

119) You wanna learn how to play the drums? Bang on some pots and pans for a while

120) You know you've reached rock bottom when you're stuck planning a kids Lord of the Rings birthday party, for a kid who isn't yours

121) When a girl asks you to pick her up at 8:00, it means pick her up at 8:15

122) Wearing a dress that says, "Come and get it," doesn't make you a slut

123) Some just aren't mean't to be pet owners

124) Four n four means no alcohol for four years (gasp)

125) Giving up girls takes a lock facility and a hanibal lector mask

126) Never plan a second date, without going on the first

127) Stay away from windows when drinking

128) Not only can you run into deer, but they can run into YOU

129) Just beacuse you're paranoid, doesn't mean their not out to get you

130) Functioning isn't possible before 9 a.m

131) Say hi at least four times when talking to a new boyfriend

132) If a man comes into your workplace, home, or something to that effect, with an unsigned package, run like hell before he starts stripping down naked (unless your a woman, then stay and enjoy the show.. or if you're a gay man)

133) In a relationship, any relationship, it's important to let the other person know you appreciate them so you don't create barriers that delay any hope for reciprocration

134) Don't touch the devil's hands

135) Always go for the newest forms of vandalism (like devil egging someone's car)

136) Don't try and wake a coffee addict up unless you've got a cup full of it on hand and don't except said addict to function until they've had at least two cups

137) Giving veggies voices is a sign of happines

138) If you want your kid to go to school, just steal their car

139) Ethics is highly over rated, especially if there's chocolate invovled

140) The eternal question: What is too much?

141) Bored? Steal of all the school's baseballs

142)To get the Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of summer song out of your head, just sing the Small World song

143) French fries are the devils fingers (but eat them anyway : )

144) The only good kind of tension is sexual tension

145) Pro con lists will solve everything

146) In the words of Rory; "Planning ahead is your best friend."

147) Salt and pepper is dip; the only way to eat a fry- it's food gospel

148) Always check your garden for marijania plants

149) When someone is at a loss for the Christmas spirit, make them a santa burger

150) Green balloons are for alien babies, not humans

151) The idea of making a cake soley out of frosting sounds better than it actually is

152) The only way to eat ice cream is in a cone

153) Sticking your tongue out is the best way to celebrate after getting your dipolma

154) Got a deer problem? Try unleashhing a pack of wolves on them - of course, then you'll have to deal with your wolf problem.. still don't have an answer for that

155) Tough love is necessary sometimes

156) Fuzzy certs do not make good snacks

157) Banana eating contests aren't necessarily about nutritous foods.

158) Sat and forever am at work here.

159) If you (a girl), forget your fake ID, just kiss anothe girl to get into a bar, get free drinks, and etc etc.

160) Cars dont' come with a never empty magical tank

161) The greatest bond is that of a mother and daughter'


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